Preacher's Note: Grateful for all of the Catholic Women Preachers who have offered much nourishment to her over the years, Courtney was honored to record her own reflection in the Nouwen Chapel of Yale Divinity School (YDS). This sacred space in the basement of the YDS library is where Henri Nouwen regularly presided over Mass with his Catholic students. In Courtney’s video, she stands before a wall of the Nouwen Chapel from which a triptych featuring the likeness of Jean Vanier was removed following the disturbing reports documenting his insidious violence against women.

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In Benincasa Community, of which I am a part, we offer image descriptions when introducing ourselves. In the spirit of that accessibility measure, I am a white woman in my late 20s with brown hair. I’m wearing a green short-sleeved dress, beaded earrings shaped like sunflowers, and a gold circle necklace. I’m standing behind a dark wooden lectern and in front of a light brick wall of a chapel. My name is Courtney, and I am grateful for the chance to dig into today’s Gospel passage with you.

When I was 24, I chose to leave my family and travel 949 miles to move into a house with 6 people I hardly knew. This would be an interesting move at any time, but especially so in a global pandemic. In August of 2021, I moved into an intentional community in Jacksonville, Florida called L’Arche. L’Arche, as you may know, is an international movement of adults with and without disabilities who share life together. I chose to move into a home in which people make the daily choice to share their lives, their home, and their whole selves with others across spectrums of abilities.

Choice. The dignity of choice became magnified for me in L’Arche. In our handbook is the charge for each community member to support one another’s growth “in the ability to make choices.” Reading this during my orientation, I figured, “That sounds simple enough!” Actually living in L’Arche, though, I began to recognize how very many choices make up my own privileged life on a daily basis. And only in forming genuine relationships with my new housemates, did I encounter how very many choices are taken away from those of us with disabilities. For example, I still vividly recall conversations with friends about how the pandemic stimulus checks threatened their ability to receive their relied-upon government benefits because they only could have up to $2,000 worth of personal resources.

This $2,000 Supplemental Security Income cap has not been updated for inflation since 1984, and it tragically is only one of the many systematic barriers imposed upon Americans with disabilities. In resistance to such unjust restrictions of personal autonomy, part of the heartbeat of L’Arche is offering each other daily choices, no matter how big or small.

Inspired by this culture of choice, my favorite opener to a question of my friends in Jacksonville became “what do you want?” For example, “What do you want…” “...to wear today?” or “...to set as a goal for the new year?” or “...to do for fun this weekend?” From what to have for breakfast to what time to head to bed, a day-in-the-life of L’Arche is a litany of choices.

In today’s passage, Jesus asks his own “What do you want?” question. A sighted man named Jesus and a blind man named Bartimaeus meet each other in Jericho. Bartimaeus calls out for Jesus. Rather than commanding Bartimaeus to come to him, Jesus tells others to call him over, which implicitly gives Bartimaeus the choice of what he wants to do. Like the wise teacher he is, Jesus puts the people who were bullying Bartimaeus in a position of inviting him into their circle. Bartimaeus then throws off his cloak, a gesture conveying his selfless giving up of his possessions, and he finds Jesus. At this point in the story, Jesus more explicitly gives Bartimaeus a choice. Instead of assuming that he knows what Bartimaeus desires, Jesus asks: “What do you want me to do for you?” With the freedom to choose anything, Bartimaeus asks for what he determines will most help him in his daily life. After asking to see and receiving his sight, Bartimaeus chooses to follow Jesus on the way to Jerusalem.

I invite us, on this Thirtieth Sunday of Ordinary Time, to receive this “What do you want?” question in two ways: First, let’s put ourselves in the place of Bartimaeus and respond through honest prayer – what do we want God to do for us? And secondly, let’s follow Jesus’s example by asking those around us, “What do you want me to do for you?” What response might we receive if we ask this question in earnest?

Both of these questions compel us to get to know God and one another deeply enough that we let go of our assumptions that we always know what to do. Through these connections, may you grow in closeness with our God who has gifted us with choice. And may your faith embolden you to empower others’ choices, especially those for whom choice is limited by circumstance or system.

And if you feel unsure where to start, remember these words: What do you want?